Just Like You…
Just like you…
I too carry weights that feel heavy on my being
Just like you I too feel bruised and scarred
from past experiences I learnt to live with,
but never really healed from
…
You say I’m absent and unbothered
But just like you,
I hurt when doors close on my face
Just like you I cry when it’s too much to bottle in
You say I’m ruthless and unfeeling
But just like you I want to feel gentleness.
I want to some day lay in bed curled up with the woman I love
the woman I get to do life with
the woman who sees that I’m more than my scars
Masks off and shields down
to talk about my first fall,
and all the things that keep me up at night
Just like you I ache to be seen,
heard and accepted
…
You say I’m nonchalant and obtuse
But I’ve just learnt to exist despite the chaos.
I’ve learnt to toughen up so the world doesn't roughen me up
I’ve learnt to wear a mask because it’s easier to be rejected for who I’m not
I’ve learnt to have a shield on because I refuse to be hurt again
I’ve learnt to build strong walls; it’s why I’m able to stand tall
I’ve learnt to show up halfway; its how I preserve my energy
I’ve learnt to drown myself in work; its how i’m able to stay sane
I’ve learnt to keep going because ‘the weak don’t make it far’
…
Just like you I hope that one day,
I can sit by the shores of my vulnerability
and watch the ocean-waves lift the burden of the ego
insecurities, and shame I’ve carried for years
Shame from the failures,
from the molestation and abuse
from the childhood neglect
from not measuring up
from not being enough
…
Someday I wish to be ‘normal’ too
slowly bringing down the walls I’ve kept so high,
letting someone in, and free of my demons
Because just like you,
I am but human.
With a heart that feels
and a soul that craves solace,
warmth,
tenderness,
and genuine love
Unspoken Words of a Gentleman