Just Like You…

Just like you…

I too carry weights that feel heavy on my being

Just like you I too feel bruised and scarred

from past experiences I learnt to live with,

but never really healed from

…

You say I’m absent and unbothered

But just like you,

I hurt when doors close on my face

Just like you I cry when it’s too much to bottle in

You say I’m ruthless and unfeeling

But just like you I want to feel gentleness.

I want to some day lay in bed curled up with the woman I love

the woman I get to do life with

the woman who sees that I’m more than my scars

Masks off and shields down

to talk about my first fall,

and all the things that keep me up at night

Just like you I ache to be seen,

heard and accepted

…

You say I’m nonchalant and obtuse

But I’ve just learnt to exist despite the chaos.

I’ve learnt to toughen up so the world doesn't roughen me up

I’ve learnt to wear a mask because it’s easier to be rejected for who I’m not

I’ve learnt to have a shield on because I refuse to be hurt again

I’ve learnt to build strong walls; it’s why I’m able to stand tall

I’ve learnt to show up halfway; its how I preserve my energy

I’ve learnt to drown myself in work; its how i’m able to stay sane

I’ve learnt to keep going because ‘the weak don’t make it far’

…

Just like you I hope that one day,

I can sit by the shores of my vulnerability

and watch the ocean-waves lift the burden of the ego

insecurities, and shame I’ve carried for years

Shame from the failures,

from the molestation and abuse

from the childhood neglect

from not measuring up

from not being enough

…

Someday I wish to be ‘normal’ too

slowly bringing down the walls I’ve kept so high,

letting someone in, and free of my demons

Because just like you,

I am but human.

With a heart that feels

and a soul that craves solace,

warmth,

tenderness,

and genuine love

Unspoken Words of a Gentleman